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Spiritual and emotional care for victims of sudden death

So often in the modern world when someone dies, one of the deepest sources of anguish for those left behind to mourn is their conviction that there is nothing they can now do to help their loved one who has gone, a conviction that only aggravates and darkens the loneliness of their grief. But this is not true. There are many, many ways we can help the dead, and so help ourselves to survive their absence.

Help for someone who has died

If we love and sincerely desire to help someone who has died, there is much we can do for them. Every thought or spiritual practice we offer can influence the person's consciousness in a positive way. Those who have suffered violent or sudden death have a particularly urgent need for help and we should bring every ounce of our will and compassion into our meditation or prayers to purify the person of any possible suffering at the time of his death and help him in his journey towards enlightenment.

How to help after death
Seven ways to help those who have died

When to practice
Times when our spiritual practice will be most effective
Practice of Essential Phowa
The best and most effective way to help someone who has died
Requesting prayers for the dead
Request prayers and practices for a deceased friend or loved one

Help for the bereaved

Having a child disappear or die; surviving the horrors of war; hearing about the violent death of a friend; losing many people we love in a short period of time--if you are in the midst of any such catastrophe, you may wonder if God has completely abandoned you. Faced with utter desolation and great pain, you may feel bereft of love or hope. But never lose heart, there are things which can help us get through such a "dark night of the soul."

Heart practice to heal suffering
Transforming suffering when we feel our heart is breaking
Resolving unfinished business
How to communicate all the things we wish we had said
The normal process of mourning
Description of the cycle of intense emotions during the grieving process
Supporting someone who is grieving
Advice on supporting friends and loved ones in their grief
Finding meaning in loss
Lessons we can learn from loss and bereavement
Answers to common questions
 Is my loved one in pain?
 Coping with anger
 How long will my grief last?
 What is spiritual care?
 More...

Sources of support online
GriefNet
Email support groups
When bad things happen
Advice from the Red Cross
Finding our way
Inspiring personal stories
From Sogyal Rinpoche
Occupy your mind with love
Anger can never destroy anger
Loving without attachment
Losing a loved one is like losing a limb
The power of forgiveness
Compassion for those who harm us
Transforming dying
The practice of essential phowa
Recommended books
The Courage to Grieve An excellent guide to grief and its complications, showing how we can heal even years after a tragic loss. Contains not only advice on coping with a death, but also for resolving difficult feelings associated with major life change. More books...

Copyright 1992-2006 Spiritual Care Program, C. Longaker, and Rigpa Fellowship

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