The Tibetan Buddhist tradition outlines specific intervals following the death when any spiritual practice we do for the deceased has the greatest potential to benefit him or her. The table below has been adapted from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.
| The moment you hear | The best and easiest way to help a dead person is to do the essential practice of phowa as soon as we have heard someone has died. |
| First forty-nine days with emphasis on the first twenty-one | The most powerful time to do spiritual practice for someone who has died is during the forty-nine days of the bardo of becoming, placing special emphasis on the first twenty-one days. It is during these first three weeks that the dead have a stronger link with this life, which makes them more accessible to our help. So it is then that spiritual practice has a far greater possibility of influencing their future, and of affecting their chances for liberation, or at least a better rebirth. We should employ every means possible to help them then, as after the physical form of their next existence begins gradually to be determined--and this is said to happen between the twenty-first and forty-ninth day after death--the chance for real change is very much more limited. |
| Once a week on the same day as the death occurred |
In a Tibetan environment practices and rituals happen
regularly every seventh day after death, or if the family
can afford it, for each of the forty-nine days. Monks are
invited to do practice, especially the Lamas who are
close to the family and had a link with the dead person.
Lights are offered and prayers said continuously,
especially until the time the body is taken out of the
house. Offerings are made to masters and to shrines,
and alms are given to the poor in the name of the dead
person.
These weekly practices on behalf of the dead person are considered essential, since the mental body in the bardo of becoming undergoes every week, on the same day, the experience of death. If the dead person has enough merit as a result of positive actions in the past, then the benefit of these practices can give them the impetus to transfer to a pure realm. Strictly speaking, if a person passed away on a Wednesday before noon, the first week's practice day would fall on the following Tuesday. If the person died after noon, it would fall on the following Wednesday. |
| Fourth and seventh week | Tibetans regard the fourth week after death as especially significant, because some say that most ordinary beings do not stay in the bardo longer than four weeks. The seventh week is also considered a critical juncture, as forty-nine days is taught to be generally the longest stay in the bardo. So on these occasions, masters and practitioners will be invited to the house, and the practices, offerings, and donations to the needy are performed on a grander scale. |
| One year after the death | Another offering ceremony and feast is held one year after the death, to mark the dead person's rebirth. Most Tibetan families would have annual ceremonies on the anniversaries of their teachers, parents, husbands, wives, brothers, and sisters, and on these days they will also give donations to the poor. |
| It's never too late! | Help for the dead, however, is not confined to the forty-nine days after death. It is never too late to help someone who has died, no matter how long ago it was. The person you want to help may have been dead a hundred years, but it will still be of benefit to practice for them. Dudjom Rinpoche used to say that even if someone has gained enlightenment and become a buddha, they will still need all the assistance they can possibly get in their work of helping others. |
|
Website question or suggestion? Please contact webmaster@spcare.org.