Heart practice for healing deep suffering

Adapted from Facing Death and Finding Hope

Having a child disappear or die; surviving the horrors of war; being struck down in the middle of life by a serious illness; hearing about the violent death of a friend; losing many people we love in a short period of time--if you are in the midst of any such catastrophe, you may wonder if God has completely abandoned you. Faced with utter desolation and great pain, you may feel bereft of love or hope. There are three things I have learned that can help us get through such a "dark night of the soul." First, find an anchor--at least one memory of love you can connect with again and again; second, have the humility and courage to ask one other person to help you; and finally, pray for grace.

To help us nurture the seeds of love and joy within, we can turn to the meditations on loving-kindness and compassion, or we can explore this meditation practice for healing our heart:


	Visualize light flowing into you in the form of golden nectar, filling your heart and transforming all your suffering into bliss

Invoke in the sky in front of you the radiant presence of a Divine Being or Buddha for whom you feel a devotion. Consider that this Presence embodies the wisdom and infinite compassion and love of all enlightened beings, saints and masters. Feel this presence is truly there, in the space in front of you.

Opening yourself, acknowledge to this Presence all your suffering, pain, loneliness and despair, and really ask for help from the depths of your heart. If tears come, let them flow--allow your sadness its natural expression.

Consider that this loving Presence is truly there for you, listening and understanding you completely, like a trustworthy friend. Imagine this enlightened being responding and sending tremendous rays of light toward you, filling you with his or her love, compassion and wisdom. Visualize that this light flows into you in the form of golden nectar, filling your heart and transforming all your suffering into bliss. As you visualize this nectar coming into you, recite a mantra or prayer to help you feel even more receptive to the blessings and love filling your heart.

Feel this nectar dissolving your loneliness, tension, fears and attachments, bringing you unconditional acceptance and love, and filling you with protective blessings and grace. Let your tears flow and wash away any harsh self-judgment, any feelings of isolation or unworthiness.

You are connected, you are loved. The radiant heart and mind within you is always good, always whole, always capable of giving and receiving love. As your sorrow is transformed into bliss, allow the source of wisdom and love--your bodhicitta--to shine out even more brilliantly as a universal and infinite compassion toward all beings.

Another image for the transformation of suffering is to meditate on the sacred heart of Jesus, which is surrounded by thorns and yet radiates brilliant light rays of compassion and wisdom toward all beings.

We don't know how or when grace will arrive. Keep nurturing any memory of love you have, pray for courage and wisdom to grow within you, and open yourself fully, asking for blessings and love to fill your heart. Slowly, surprisingly, you will find in ways small or large that the universe supports you even in your deepest grief. As we pass through the challenge of one of life's "big deaths" we have the opportunity to let go of all our ego's baggage and become lighter and more free. As Rabbi Pesach Krauss wrote:

On Yom Kippur, services are completed with a prayer: "Open to us a gate even as the gates are closing." There is always a gate. We just have to find it and never lose heart. We need courage and the insight that life is a gift. We must be grateful for every moment and for blessings, past and present. We must also realize that losses are an integral part of life. We must use these inevitable losses creatively, like rungs on a ladder, to achieve a higher awareness of our perceptions, feelings, emotions, and our humanity.

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